Almost no one likes to fess up to gaining weight, especially women, particularly me. Well boys and girls it's confession time: Over the coarse of the last year and a half I've done just that, to the tune of about 40 lbs. Now there's nothing wrong with being a plus size lady, that's not where I'm going with this. It's not like "ZOmg I'm such a super fatty chan and I'm ugly and I hate myself! Waaa!" though this post wouldn't be completely honest without admitting that I do have those moments. Really doesn't everyone? Maybe not to that extent but I think everyone catches a glimpse of their reflections, pokes themselves in the belly, thighs, upper arms, butt, or wherever their personal nitpick zone is and says to themselves "Yuck".
The straw that broke the camel's back came a few days ago at my grandma's house when I got the bright idea to try on my mom's old wedding dress. Now my mom is a very lovely plus size self declared "Short fat Italian lady" though I remember when I was younger and she was thinner, say about the size I am now. So I've been operating under the assumption that I'm about the same size my mom was when she got married, maybe a year and a half ago I was, but not now. So I found out two sad things about mom's wedding dress that day:
- It doesn't fit, plain and simple.
- Mice messed it up
So sure, I couldn't have worn it anyway, it didn't fit in a handful of different ways like the torso was too short and I would've had to add a ruffle or some lace to make it long enough. There were also a whole bunch of mice holes scattered around the skirt. More so I think it was the principle of the thing, my relatives were all like "Why would you even want to try that old thing on, it's going to be too big". Not so, and for the last few days I kept it my secret shame while researching diet and exercise plans like a madwoman.
The options I've been considering:
- Calorie Counting
- The Paleo/primal Diet
- Weight Training
- Interval Training
- Hiking
Some of these I've made weak attempts at before, like
calorie counting I lost about 25 pounds doing it when I first got home from college. I didn't really change my diet much I just ate less, I also walked a lot then while interning in NYC. A few months later I hit a plateau and got frustrated so I quit, luckily I only regained about 10lbs of that weight back. I was alright with that for a long time. Fast forward a year to the series of unfortunate events that started in Oct '10 and depression set in badly and I coped the only way I knew how: delicious carby, salty, sweet, and/or chocolatey foods. I know I'm not alone in this, but it doesn't make it any easier to quit doing. Dozens of websites and hours reading research later I know what I need to do it's just a matter of actually doing it.
I don't wholeheartedly know if I can manage the paleo/primal diet, so I'm considering doing a modified version of it. No grains, dairy, legumes, potatoes, sugars, processed food, omega 6 veggie oils, or chemically altered fats seems harsh and a lot to clean out all at once. I don't live on my own and am at the mercy of my family's grocery shopping habits, and while I do have influence I can't make them buy a whole lot of veggies and fruits so I can eat healthier and I also can't make them stop keeping crap food around the house. It's been a hard struggle on and off for a long time and I have to learn how to keep up willpower.
There are a lot of my dressier clothes that I'm afraid to even try on like my loli or my ren faire clothes because I'll be heartbroken if they don't fit. Maybe that's the push I need.
